Squub Surveys - Results

For years now squub.com has been surveying the countryside, or the population therein, though perhaps everyone surveyed was not necessarily on the side of a country, some could have been on a different surface (technical information regarding the population of surveyed persons is forthcoming), and I've been so busy with this that I haven't had time to publish the results. I've amassed four surveys worth of data in such a short time! I continue to break ground wherever I step.

Due to the time it's taken to publish these rusults, there has been speculation that I'm involved in a cover-up here, but I'm publishing now, possibly still prematurely, just to put these voices to rest. So shut up now, goddamnit. Just shut the fuck up. Here's your goddamned survey results. Okay? Are you fucking HAPPY now?

Fifth Survey Results


Survey Question: Who's Driving This Goddamned Thing?

NOTE: One respondant refused to supply any answer other than "This survey is a disgrace." He or she was absolutely right. I feel like a fucking fake. I should be put to sleep. I am a waste. Please forgive me, I was trying to recover from an addiction to over-the-counter pain relievers at the time (my favorite was a cocktail of three Tylenol, one EXTRA STRENGTH Tylenol, an Excedrin, and a couple Advil. I was a fucking mess. What pushed me over the edge was when I had done all of that and then I think I swallowed a cough drop. A COUGH DROP. I'm lucky to be alive to even see the results of this survey.)







Fourth Survey Results


Survey Question: After the US attacks Iraq, and spills some milk, who should it attack next?

NOTE: Clearly no one gives a shit that Canada looms large in our 21st Century landscape. I must warn you that you follow this course at your peril.

ANOTHER NOTE: One respondant was emphatic about Pennsylvania: FUCK PENNSYLVANIA MOTHER FUCKERS ALWAYS THINKING THAT THEY HAVE THE BEST HIGHWAYS I"LL FUCKING SHOW THEM MY COCK AND THAT"LL FUCKING TEACH PENNSV> > LVYS V WHAT EVER





Third Survey Results


Survey Question: I don't remember. I also don't remember what the answer numbers stood for. But these results are pretty fucking astounding. Look at 1. Just LOOK at it!!

NOTE: I feel that use of a pie-chart in this case is clearly warranted. I mean, there's no 4 needed.





Second Survey Results


Survey Question: I don't remember this one either. Or what the answer numbers stood for. There were a lot of respondants who seemed to feel pretty strongly that number six was pretty important. I wish I knew what the question was.

NOTE: This is called a Cone Chart.

ANOTHER NOTE: Clues to the question asked may be found in the following responses posted along with answers: "I like cows too! hehe", "meef!", "crispy warthogs descending into the ceiling purchase many groceries for the accursed loaf of nailgun basins.", "Salmon…", "this way", "with my fish booger."