My Monkey, on My Porch
I've got a porch with a massive ugly hip and a flashy
looking loop underneath.
On top of the porch is a monkey with a rat and a
bleeding ugly head on him.
Outside the porch is a herd of happy peas all singing
to their Lord like dorks.
Beyond that stuff is a nasty pack of wolves drooling
on the ground about the monkey.
The wolves are comin' in and the monkey's getting
antsy 'cause he knows he's gonna die.
The rat is really dumb but he knows he'll be okay
because wolves don't eat rats.
The door to my porch is locked with a deadbolt but I'm
scared anyway of the wolves.
The windows to my house are broken and a mess from
midgets who don't like me.
The wolves could come through there if they figure it
out so I have a shotgun in here.
The shotgun that I have is rusted but okay I hope
it'll shoot anyway if I need it.
The shells in the gun are old and probably wet but I
loaded them in case I need to shoot.
If I shoot my nasty gun it'll probably blow up in my
hands but I have no other choice.
If the wolves think I'm scared they'll rip me all to
bits so I'm taking lots of drugs.
The drugs are mostly nasty making me believe lots of
things that might not be true.
The drugs came from the boy who came knockin' at the
door of my porch yesterday.
Now I wonder if the wolves are real, I wonder if the
monkey's there, I wonder if the rat's dumb, I wonder
if the peas are marching, I wonder if I have a gun, I
wonder if my windows are broke I wonder if I have any
drugs to keep me calm to protect me from the wolves
and peas that might be there I wonder because I took
those drugs I think I took those drugs I wonder if I
took those drugs the drugs can make me think I did
things I didn't can make me think there are things
that aren't so maybe I didn't take the drugs but then
this stuff is real so maybe I took the drugs but if I
took the drugs they might be making me think I took
drugs so maybe I didn't take the drugs but...
The wolves have gotten in and the shotgun doesn't work
and I'm running up the stairs.
The wolves are really fast and they already ate the
monkey but they're hungry still.
At the top of my stairs are some rooms I've never
entered and I can't decide.
Should I open up the door that is black but wasn't
Or should I run into the room with no door and hope to
jump out a window that I see?
I could go into the bathroom take a piss so as not to
let the wolves smell the fear (it smells like pee.)
A wolf has got my leg and I can't get to a door and
another wolf is just behind that one.
I wonder if the drugs will make this not hurt. I hope
I took those drugs.