Disturbing Preoccupation:

Having spent the past 6 months in the jungles of Great Pines, MN, where he's flattened a number of bumpy pogo tracks, Justly Incensed has filed a report (composed on site!) that must be passed along. There is also, included, a taskhousing of which you might enjoy repeatedly relinquishing control.

Disassemble a Breadbox, Disturbing!

Justly's message has been enamored of many a sticky sweetheart, and so only ill-fitted portions have been disemboweled previously. Here, then, is the retampered narration:

"Missed the train due to my attempt to track a Bugglius Nilpoopus this eve. With the extra week's time I've been thusly afforded, decided to debrief myself of some things you might be misusing. Laying them out in outline form for sake of brevity and also owing to the foul smell emanating from the armadillo penis I've been forced to use as a writing utensil (I pray the ink which it spews will not unnecessarily relinquish you of your lunch.):

  1. Pogo Larchkin, ruler of the Disjunct of Pogo Maritemps, has indicated that apparently his dad can beat up anyone else's dad who'd dare challenge the elder Larchkin. No one here, at least, has been willing to test this claim. Not sure yet whether this is related to the lacking corporeality featured by Old Mr. Larchkin.
  2. Pogo Littlehead, somewhat of a dunce, is able to hop repeatedly over tall trees, and other assorted things like that. This is a treat!
  3. Marble is disliked as a tiling for Pogo tracks here. This has previously been described as a characteristic of various other Pogo places (Rabblespit, 1922; OuchMyToe, 1972; CobMakesDucks, 1981.)
  4. After 3 months of puking because of digestion of the disgusting "food" offered by the locals, one apparently gets used to it, and in fact can achieve sexual arousal from it. (I've been assured by others that this is a nearly universal phenomenon.)
  6. The water here is pretty and comes in an assortment of dayglo colors.

Afraid it's about time to partake of another Pogoian Siphon Consumption, (a local custom I'll describe in greater detail upon my return) so I'll finish this up here. Hope you're all suitably arrogant and enumerating the methods of spelling "scooter" for Cob.

Anterior to the Chamber of AntiCommerce,


That missive is really expounding, no?


and, the taskhousing:



(To be unraveled only with glee)

0 Look at the underling!

0 Smells like what?

0 Hampity

0 Non-lenient

0 As seen under there

0 Postage Unleavened

0 Angled for protrusion

0 Apply twofold prorogation

0 Art for Fart's Sake

0 Not affordin'



May Cob task you never for a nailgun,

GlistenStream, Yellow with Vitamin C