Eugene

 The thing about Eugene is that he looks like a dork. He wears old clothes and REALLY old ties.

The thing about Eugene is that he touches people all the time, and when they jump away, yell, and hit him, he says, "You had a piece of fuzz, there."

The thing about Eugene is that no one's really certain he works here. He likes to clean out the refrigerator a lot, though, and that seems okay with the boss.

The thing about Eugene is that he smells really funny.

The thing about Eugene is that the other day, he walked out into the hallway. There was a lady walking by, and Eugene hung his arms really close to the ground, so his fingertips were almost dragging, and he started slumping over toward the lady, going pretty fast for being in that position. The lady hit him in the face with a big, black briefcase, and Eugene's nose kind of exploded and made a mess, and the lady sat there saying, "what the hell are you doing?"

The thing about Eugene is that no one really cared when his nose was bleeding all over the place, except the maintenance people, because they had to clean up the mess and they all had to draw straws because no one wanted to touch any Eugene juice.

The thing about Eugene is that he likes pea soup but he always spills it all over his shirt while he's trying to eat it.

The thing about Eugene is he talks really funny, and he messes with peoples computers while they aren't there, and then he fucks shit up and has to start saying, in his whiny voice, "uhm... what's wrong with this machine, here? Can someone help me? I can't get the card game to come up on this machine. I like the card game. Does anyone want to play the card game with me on their computer?"

The thing about Eugene is that no one EVER wants to play the card game with him on ANY computer.

The thing about Eugene is that he's probably not even a person. Eugene is more likely a conglomeration of the poop that people put into the sewage system, come to life as a result of some mad scientists experiments in human waste disposal.

The thing about Eugene is that his name is probably not even Eugene.

Possibly this is Eugene

Does anyone know if this guy is Eugene?

One of these guys is Eugene. Can you tell which one?